you’re such a b**** (bagel)

(via fruitflavoredsnack)


people who laugh so hard at their own jokes that they can’t even finish the joke because they’re laughing so hard are my favorite kind of people

(via sebastianstantheperfectman)


u do not know real pain until you’ve woken up from a dream about your favorite band member

(via pizza)


Dear future son/daughter

I know that I may not be the best parent, but swear on my mother fucking life that I will never leave you at the supermarket checkouts alone because I know that shit is terrifying and I’m not a fucking monster

(via 0riginal)